Old House Love Letters #3: To the little girl I used to be…

I’ve been thinking a lot about my childhood lately! Being a mama makes you look at things a little differently ya know. It lets you see your things through a different lens. Lately I’ve been reflecting on my relationship with my Granny, and the time I shared with her on this little piece of land and in the old house. I’ve been thinking about the little girl I used to be. Wondering what she’d think about where we ended up, and what I would I tell her if I could go back in time. And all this reflecting got me thinking, that this would be a great post to share in the “Old House Love Letters” series here on the blog! So today’s post is dedicated to the little girl who fell in love with her granny’s farmhouse… This letter is to you, you sassy little thing!

Mama had to drag you out of here kicking and screaming more times that you or I will ever admit! You never did want to leave Granny’s house to go home. And you’d hide behind Papa, pretending to be asleep, like that would somehow keep you from leaving! Believe me though little girl, the payback is coming 10 fold! Because one day you’ll be carrying your own little one’s home kicking and screaming just like you did all these years ago. They love their Gigi as much as you loved Granny… and I do believe they love being at her house like you love being at Granny’s house! I’ll let you in on a little secret though! One day, you’re gonna go to Granny’s to stay, and you’ll never have to leave! Because it’ll be your home too!

I want you to look around you when you’re with her and soak it all in because time is fleeting, and nothing lasts forever! One day she’ll be gone. And one day this old house is going to be in a lot worse shape than it is right now. Termites, water damage, wood rot… it gets really bad! And it’s going to break your heart watching it deteriorate knowing there’s nothing you can do… at least not yet! So look around you and try to remember it just how it is now…

Laying in Granny’s old bed, you can see through to the television in the living room, and it’s the coziest spot you’ll ever be in. One day, it’ll be the same cozy spot where you write this very blog post! One minute you’ll be playing and snacking in the kitchen while duck tales plays on the little TV in the corner… and the next minute when you look up, you’ll see your children living out that same moment in the kitchen! Except it’ll be Thomas and Friends on an Ipad and Netflix instead of a TV! And when you get to that part of your life, you’re gonna cherish these little memories more than you know…

Little girl… I know you’ll never in a million years believe me… but one day you really are gonna fix up that old house. It won’t be an easy road to take, but you’re gonna do it! You’ll agonize over things like window sizes, and paint colors, and chimney mortar. And you’ll stay up late into the night just to resketch the floor plan for the 1000th time. You’ll pour your heart into re-designing and re-working it from top to bottom. And it matters, because every decision you’ll make is with the intention to preserve the past! The memories, the love, the old wood, the chimney that welcomes you home as it peeks through the trees when you’re driving in… Let these things guide your decisions! They’ll help you to save the essence of the old house while mixing in the old with the new.

But there’s something very important you have to know! You have to know that in doing this you’re closing a chapter… and that won’t be an easy thing to do! You’ll be one of the last children to ever sleep in this old house! You’ll be one of the last ones who remembers what it was like before. But just because you’re closing this chapter, that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the story! There’s so much story left to be told. And if you’re lucky enough, one day you’ll find a way to do just that…

If you’re new to the blog and our story, we completely re-built our family’s 1800’s farmhouse here in Eastern NC. The “Old House Love Letters” series is where I share a deeper, and more personal perspective on our farmhouse. It’s my hope that this series helps show just how much it means to us to be able to call the farmhouse home! If you enjoyed this letter to the little girl I used to be, you’ll want to check out the other posts in this series!! You can read the first love letter that I dedicated to my Granny by clicking [this link]. You can read the second love letter that I dedicated to my children by clicking [this link].

Love, Brittany